


With these hamsters, I am god

by coruscates



Series: You're my Au Medal [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: All Drunk!Yuuris come with a pole, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, BestWingman!Phichit, Fluff, Getting Together, Gratuitious praise for Yuuri’s thighs, Journalism!AU, M/M, Matchmaker!Phichit, Matchmaking, Mostly Fluff, Off-screen pet death, Office Romance, When matchmaking goes wrong in all the wrong ways for Yuuri, Yuuri 'I'm in love with my boss' Katsuki, attempted humor, company!AU, drunk!Yuuri, implied sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-13 04:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11752470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coruscates/pseuds/coruscates
Summary: Phichit considers himself one of Yuuri’s best assets. If he were forced to make a list he’d be a few numbers away from the top of the list: Yuuri’s looks and personality at rank one, his glorious thunder thighs a close second and his love for dogs and softspoken demeanor follow close (but really, everything about his best friend should be at rank one.)“Yuuri is the best damn thing that can happen to anyone’s life. You don’t get to fight me on this.”Why does Phichit Chulanont consider himself an asset, you ask?If Phichit didn’t exist, anyone who would want a taste of this delectable katsudon would take a millennia before they could get near, even if said suitor is Yuuri’s wet dreams personified.Anyone who wanted more of Yuuri would be grateful for Phichit’s existence.(Or Phichit, Matchmaker Extraordinaire. Operation: Yuuri’s Dream Daddy)





	With these hamsters, I am god

**Author's Note:**

> *Comes late to the party with Starbucks.  
> I know there are already a lot of matchmaking fics out there... but why not make moooooreee?

 

Phichit watches from the corner of his eye as Yuuri heaves another sigh from his cubicle. Sure, you’d hear people let out a huff and breathe out in a stressful environment such as this. Being part of a top tier magazine company is no walk in the park after all. However, Yuuri’s sigh (Phichit has a compilation of all Katsuki Yuuri quirks catalogued in his head) was something he had been hearing over the past year, ever since they’ve ventured hand in hand into the industry. Also something he has heard multiple times during their college days in Detroit.

It was a Level 10 sign of trademark Katsuki Yuuri pining. A **code** **red** in the love category of the Katsuki Yuuri chart.

Phichit has long taken notice of this and being the Katsuki Yuuri expert that he was he had been scheming for months, lowkey trying to push Yuuri out into the arms of their drop dead gorgeous, would’ve-been-a-Calvin-Klein-model chief editor.

But no such luck has happened yet. Their editor was a busy man, considering he would also teach Advanced French classes on the side. It’s different now though. Recently, he resigned from his teaching job and poured more of his time into the magazine, making it a point to make every issue a best seller. Their one of a kind lifestyle magazine managed to stay at number one digitally and physically ever since Viktor Nikiforov had taken the reins as Editor-in-chief.

Yuuri, the humble being that he is, looked up to the man, hoping that he too would achieve such a feat. In that sense, falling even more for the man who had insisted the owner of the magazine to take Yuuri and Phichit in. Phichit knew that Yuuri had fallen ever since he caught sight of the man in his Armani suit. (And boy does Phichit know Yuuri has a thing for men in suits).

Other than that first meeting, Viktor mentored Yuuri for a while when Yuuri started on his first sports article for the magazine. His first article was on Figure skating, and to state facts, Viktor was downright excited with the topic and decided to oversee Yuuri’s research and progress with his part of the issue. Suffice to say, during this time Yuuri had become even more enamored than he had ever been in years.

 (Katsuki Yuuri was no stranger to flings and relationships though. He had just been unlucky with the people he’d met, eating his heart out each time they’d leave.)

And Phichit was the constant bystander to the whole affair. Watching aimlessly as an office romance started to bloom before his eyes. The shy glances that the two gave each other as they pass by. The sweet laughter they have whenever they had time to talk in breaks. The cautious touches they gave each other, brimming with withheld affection. All of it melted dear Phichit’s heart and he’d continue melting for the two because they were just that lovable together.

They were adorable together, yes. However, they were just not _together_ together. And although Phichit appointed himself as captain of the ship since day one, the ‘blooming romance’ before him was blooming way too slowly for his tastes. The slowness of it all beating the most _drawn-out_ Slow Burn fiction that ever existed. It was basically a rock versus a turtle in terms of progress. And Phichit, being the captain of the ship, and being the impatient shipper that he will always be, is on the verge of just locking the two together in a room and hoping to the gods that they make out.

(Phichit likes the slow burn…but this is Yuuri. Who knows how long the burn will last before it sparks.)

Phichit continues to watch Yuuri as he gazed longingly at the editor’s office situated beside his cubicle. He heaves a sigh to himself as he shook his head at his best friend. The progress between them was minimal. He was sure at this point that Viktor had the hots for Yuuri (much to Yuuri’s disbelief). But why hasn’t there been any progress? Oh that’s right, Viktor has been even busier these days due to the anniversary issue, cutting off the already miniscule time he had with Yuuri. On the other end of the love line, Yuuri had his hands full as well, having been given the task of preparing a special article for the issue, thus effectively putting a block on any progress in their relationship.

Phichit felt deeply for his friend’s dilemma. He knew he wanted to spend more time with Viktor but everything has been so hectic, everything in the office moved in a rush. Too fast for anyone to keep up with their usual routine. Phichit was lucky enough to have cut his workload in half since some of his stored pictures had been used for the issue and were already edited. Everyone else was tired and running high on caffeine. That includes Viktor and Yuuri.

At this moment, Phichit decides it was time for him to take matters into his own hands.

 

* * *

 

 

It was laundry day.

Sundays were always laundry days, and it was Phichit’s turn to fetch the laundry from the washers on the ground floor of the apartment complex. Phichit, being the good flatmate he was, had already fetched it before his sleeping beauty best friend woke up.

(Yuuri hardly wakes up before 8 am on weekends anyway.)

 “Phichit! I can’t wear **_that_** to work!”

Yuuri was pacing back and forth in front of his closet, feet padding over strewn clothes in his room. Phichit sat on his bed, sorting out possible outfits for Yuuri to wear for the week. Phichit just held up a few ‘safe’ options for Yuuri. However, most of his selections made Yuuri blush a light shade of pink, a sign of Yuuri’s foreseen embarrassment.

“Yuuuuuuri, I’m sorry. The laundry lady must’ve mixed yours up with someone else’s.”

Phichit was lying. He had all of Yuuri’s usual clothes in a plastic bag under his bed.

“Phichit, how am I going to show up at work this week. Most of these clothes are too tight for me to even wear in public.” Yuuri cradled his head in his hands. The very thought of having to wear anything tight-fitting to work was embarrassing. No one needed to see how chunky his thighs have gotten since New Year’s Eve. That’s how Yuuri felt at least. Phichit, on the other hand knew how much a certain man salivated over them during their annual get together.

“It’ll be fine, Yuuri. It’s just for a while anyway.”

Phichit was planning to return Yuuri’s clothes by the end of the week.

“I’ll go by the laundry lady tomorrow. Maybe by then, she’d already found your clothes.”

“Phichit…”

“I assure you. No one would notice a thing, Yuuri. Everyone’s too busy to even pay attention to what you’re wearing. Emil even came to work in his sweats the other day too.” Phichit reasons.

“But if you really don’t want to, you can borrow some of mine? I have a lot of spares.”

As much as Phichit wanted his plan to come to fruition, Yuuri’s comfort always comes first.

“No, no. It’s fine, Phichit. And yeah, you’re right. I’m just...I think the stress must be getting to me. This is just something small, I don’t need to freak out much right? And besides, it’s not like I haven’t worn them before…”

‘Yeeees.’ Phichit cheers in his head. He actually had a feeling that this plan wouldn’t work out but thankfully things seemed to go his way for now. All that’s left to do is look out for Yuuri. He may be the one dragging Yuuri out of his shell but he would never dare place Yuuri in a shady situation.

“Don’t worry too much, Yuuri. And remember, I got your back!”

A thankful smile placed itself on Yuuri’s face.

“Thanks, Phichit.”

 

 

 

**Plan A: Dress to impress**

 

Everyone was in a rush as usual. Thankfully, this would be the last week any of them would be suffering through whilst being on the edge of immense stress and pressure. Even so, the energy in the office never ceased to decline. Everyone still managed to slip in a few laughs once in a while even if a few disputes erupted once in a while. Overall, Yuuri and Phichit were lucky to have a decent working environment.

Phichit and Yuuri arrived at their floor just in time to be immediately pulled into their work stations. Apparently, one of the associate editors wanted something more “fresh” than what they had submitted, putting Phichit in a tight position. He scrambled to make some last minute edits before rushing over to the company storeroom. He needed to print them out as soon as possible.

Phichit ends up meeting Yuuri in the storeroom, apparently looking for the extra stack of A4 paper.

“Hey Yuuri. Feeling okay now?”

Phichit knew Yuuri was a bit nervous and conscious of what he had worn, even telling Phichit that he was afraid that the button holding his pants together would pop off.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just…” Yuuri turned a bit pink as he drifted off.

“What is it? Did Viktor come by you again?” Phichit teased Yuuri, playfully bumping his hip against Yuuri’s whilst pulling out a stack of photo paper.

“No, no! It’s not him! It’s someone else… It’s Chris.” Yuuri waved his hands in front of him, as if trying to erase Viktor’s name from the conversation.

“Chris? What did our resident sex enthusiast say to our dear Yuuri?”

“He just kind of…grabbed my ass.”

Classic Chris.

“And told me that I finally decided to show off my assets.”

Chris would’ve said that with a sultry wink. Phichit was sure of it.

“I told you, you have the booty. And you wouldn’t believe me.” Phichit smirks at his friend. Christophe Giaccometti was a touchy man but the man’s hands only touched those with quality. And if only Yuuri dared to remember the company Christmas Party, how he seduced the pants out of Chris AND Viktor at the same time. ( _Literally._ )

Speaking of Viktor, the man has been missing, probably off to some meeting with the associates. However, Phichit believes his plan would still come to fruit more progress between Viktor and Yuuri. Especially since this plan was put into motion by Phichit’s hands of course. He didn’t really need anyone’s help for now. His hamsters are more than enough moral support anyway.

(Especially Peanut. Dear, small, chubby Peanut).

Yuuri moved a bit to Phichit’s space, bumping into his friend as a box of papers moved to the edge, inevitably falling towards Phichit and Yuuri. In panic, the two tried to move out of trajectory, unfortunately bumping heads with each other and falling to the ground. Yuuri’s backside making contact with the box.

“ _Ahhhhh…”_ Yuuri moaned in pain.

The heaps of paper scattered around them as they tried regain their footing. Yuuri sat atop Phichit rubbing his backside to ease the pain. Looking up, Yuuri let out a gasp.

To both their surprise, Viktor stood by the open door in shock.

Their current position was beyond suggestive. Their clothes disheveled from their slight scuffle. Yuuri straddling Phichit’s thighs while he rubbed his sore ass. Phichit on his back with his arms above his head.

(Not to mention, the button on Yuuri’s pants had popped off.)

They looked like a scene from a bad cliché porno premiering only at those run down love motels.

 (Entitled “Asian Twinks kinking up on the job” )

Yuuri squeaked as he swiftly stood up, shuffling to his feet with as much grace he can muster while mumbling he had to get back to work, apologizing profusely at the commotion. Anything to save himself from further embarrassment.

That left Viktor and Phichit.

Viktor stared Phichit down like a predator would to a prey. Phichit could feel the piercing coldness of Viktor’s eyes crawling up his spine. Phichit didn’t realize how terrifying the editor was until this day. He felt frozen in his spot as the man his best friend pined after glared at him as if he had kicked his poodle.   Viktor would usually be wearing an easy smile whilst also giving blunt criticism when he sees fit. However, this was a different matter altogether. It was a different matter because it was Yuuri.

Phichit obviously did not see this happening and was prepared for nothing.

“Haha, you’ve got it all wrong. It was an accident.” Phichit let out an awkward laugh, standing up and patting away any non-existent dust that stuck on his slacks. “In fact, I’ll just fix this mess right here, haha.”

Viktor stared him down once more, and Phichit had half a mind to just bolt of the storeroom. To his surprise (and his relief _thank god_ ), Viktor plastered a too-sweet smile on his face before walking off.

 

“Ok.”

* * *

 

Phichit is having an unlucky streak in his matchmaking. After that disastrous first day of the week, Phichit decided to give Yuuri back his clothes. To which Yuuri responded with glee and relief. Phichit determined that if he were to resolve this love line. He would have to take drastically different measures.

(Those of which he didn’t research from those cliché romantic comedies and Korean dramas Seung-gil kept in a secret stash before Phichit had rummaged through them.)

Every idea that he had in his book went wrong. Especially that time when he purposely tripped Yuuri, sending him face first to the trash can instead of Viktor Nikiforov’s arms. Thankfully, after a very stressful and disastrous week, everyone will be celebrating the magazine’s anniversary tonight. The higher ups rented a function room along with catering.

Phichit assigns himself the duty of making sure Yuuri is prepared for the night. That includes making sure his best friend doesn’t wear anything involving his usual untailored suit and that god awful necktie. Phichit was quite proud of his accomplishment to say the least. He was even able to convince Yuuri to slick back his hair for the night.  

Since phase one of his plan went smoothly. He hopes that continues on to phase 2.

 

 

**Plan H: Alcohol is liquid courage**

 

 

Phichit really didn’t want to get Yuuri _drunk_. He wanted to Yuuri to drink just enough to make him let loose. So he makes it his mission to bat away any offers of additional drinks to Yuuri. From what Phichit has gathered throughout the years, there was no in-between with the results of Yuuri drinking. It’s either go hard or go home for his friend.

He’s been doing a great job at steering away any more alcohol from Yuuri. If everything goes as expected tonight, he will give himself a pat on the shoulder and maybe get his hamsters a new sibling. He’s not working alone tonight, however. A coffee break and a few drinks in the other night, Chris decided to help out his long time friend as well.

(“I’ve never seen Viktor pine and _‘coo’_ around someone before. He even started a new album on his phone dedicated to ‘Yuuri  <3’. This is serious.”)

Unfortunately, there was no sign of Viktor at all so far.

“Don’t worry, Phichit. He’s coming tonight.” Chris squeezes Phichit’s shoulder as they both kept their gaze on Yuuri.

With how Yuuri’s dressed up, Dream Daddy is definitely _coming_ tonight.

And right at that moment, Viktor Nikiforov enters the function room donning an all-black ensemble.

 

* * *

 

 

Despite Phichit’s numerous attempts to lead Yuuri away from alcohol, the man decided to slip away from Phichit and Chris, grabbing more drinks to drown himself as anxiety ate at him. Without telling Phichit, Yuuri had decided to avoid Viktor the whole night, a result of the numerous disastrous matchmaking stints Phichit pulled off.

(He was pretty sure that Yuuri wanted to crawl into a hole when he had asked Chris to help out Yuuri. He didn’t know it involved a live _previously practiced_ pair pole dance routine. The practice of said lascivious routine of which ended with Yuuri almost falling off the pole when Viktor ‘impromptu’ visited Chris' studio.)

Yuuri swayed in front of Phichit. Phichit had led Yuuri to one corner of the function hall, keeping him away from Viktor for a while as he worked to sober his friend up. Nonetheless, even with the amounts of water Phichit urged Yuuri to drink, the alcohol had wormed itself deeply into Yuuri’s system.

“Phichit-kun…have you seen Viktoruuu~~?”

“Haha, Yuuri he’s here. Don’t worry. Hey, let’s stay here for a while, okay?” Phichit tells Yuuri, grabbing another glass of water for Yuuri to drink.

“But Viktoruuuu~ I wanna see Viktoruuu. Phichit-kun, I want Viktooooor.” Yuuri slurred as he scanned the function hall for his target. Despite his drunken stupor, Yuuri manages to catch sight of an ash blond head.

Before Phichit could react, Yuuri bolts towards his target, arms ready to glomp as his eyes sparkled in joy.

Yuuri leaps as he manages to catch his prey, clinging tightly onto his mark’s shoulders.

“Huh? Viktoruuu…how did you get so short? You’re so smaaaaall.”

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!? GET OFF ME, PIG.”

To Phichit’s relief (Should he be relieved?), Yuuri had caught sight of the wrong Russian. Wrapped around Yuuri’s arms was Nikolai Plisetsky’s grandson. The man had been an associate with the magazine spread since its beginning. Unfortunately, Nikolai was unable to attend due to his back pains so he had urged little Yuri to go in his stead, seeing as his grandson would be his successor.

“Viktoru, it’s me Yuuri. I pole dance remember~? I even wore your pants last Christmas.”

“I DON’T KNOW YOU.” Despite the teen’s energy, Yuuri’s strength was not something that can easily be broken out of.

“I’ll just make you remember me theeen~” Drunk Yuuri proceeds to cuddle the little tiger in his arms as Yuri Plisetsky struggled.

“STOP OR I’LL BITE YOUR ARM OFF!” Yuri snarled as he tried to pry himself from the older man’s arms.

“Don’t you wanna bite something else insteaaaad?” Yuuri nuzzles his cheek against the teen effectively making him scream, pushing Yuri to kick him off his body. Yuri didn’t hesitate to jump a few meters away from Yuuri, thoroughly disgusted and traumatized.

“DISGUSTING.”

“But Viktoruuu?” Yuuri pouts as he proceeds to get closer. Yuri doesn’t hesitate to move back, keeping his leg ready for a kick.

“I’m not the old man, hurry up and screw that into your brain. If you’re looking for that moron, HE’S OVER THERE. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.”

Again, Phichit had underestimated drunk Yuuri. Yuuri may have alcohol in his body but he was inhuman when he was drunk, rushing past Phichit before his hands could get ahold of him.

To everyone’s shock, Yuuri unhesitatingly runs up to Viktor, eyes sparkling and swaying a bit on his feet…and proceeds to unbutton his shirt.

“Yuuri, what are you doing?”

“Unbuttoning your shiiiirt, silly~”

“Yuuri, you don’t have to—“

“But YOU’RE HOOOOT.”

Phichit has never seen Viktor’s face in such a rich red.

“Your clothes are making you too hooot~”

“I’m helping you, see?”

“Haha, Yuuri. I’m fine--”

“Yes. Yes, you are.”

 

* * *

 

Drunk Yuuri, in all his magnificence, was the complete opposite of sober Yuuri. Sober Yuuri would be conscious of showing too much skin, a tad too mindful of the stretch marks which decorated his hips. Drunk Yuuri, however, did not care for any semblance of clothing or nudity. Once he feels like he should take something off, he strips down to his boxers and wraps his necktie around his head. Drunk Yuuri’s brand of extra (tm) translated in action in more ways than one.

Phichits snapshots every single moment at every angle he can get.

He hadn’t meant to make Yuuri drunk beyond cognition. Keeping Yuuri sober was his numero uno priority. (Along with of course, slipping some ‘essentials’ into Yuuri’s back pocket.) But he’s pretty happy with the results anyway.

(His followers would agree.)

“He’s not getting that raise isn’t he?” Phichit ponders as he pushes record on his phone.

“He’s already raising something else tonight, that’s for sure.” Chris takes a swig of champagne as he watched the pair of lovers dance a very passionate flamenco.

“THERE ARE FUCKING MINORS HERE. WHY THE FUCK DON’T ALL OF YOU CARE!?”

 

* * *

 

“Viktooor~ Watch me. Look only at me, okay? Don’t look at anyone else.”

“Yuuri!”

“Never take your eyes off me, Viktor.”

“I wouldn’t want to look anywhere else, Yuuri.”

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re kidding me right?”

“No…?”

“Phichit, I’m a fucking embarrassment.”

Yuuri couldn’t look anyone in the eye for a week.

* * *

 

 

**Plan Q: Establish a partnership with Dream Daddy**

Phichit considers himself one of Yuuri’s best assets. If he were forced to make a list he’d be a few numbers away from the top of the list: Yuuri’s looks and personality at rank one, his glorious thunder thighs a close second and his love for dogs and softspoken demeanor follow close (but really, everything about his best friend should be at rank one.)

“Yuuri is the _best damn thing_ that can happen to anyone’s life. ** _You_** don’t get to fight me on this. Understood?”

Why does Phichit Chulanont consider himself an asset, you ask?

If Phichit didn’t exist, anyone who would want a taste of this delectable katsudon would take a millennia before they could get near, even if said suitor is Yuuri’s wet dreams personified.

Because, as much as Phichit hates to admit it, Yuuri pines from afar, too blind to notice anyone taking interest, and inevitably ending up closing in on himself before anything could spark.

Anyone who wanted more of Yuuri would be grateful for Phichit’s existence.

Viktor Nikiforov is now one of those people.

 

After some careful consideration, Phichit decided to just go straight to center of Yuuri’s love dilemma: Dream Daddy himself. He had asked Chris to deliberately set up a meeting between Viktor and him via asking Viktor to a night between old friends. Phichit knew that Viktor was hesitant to approach him given the suggestive situations Viktor had found Phichit and Yuuri in, even _before_ his disastrous streak. It was high time to clear the air between the two of them.

“And for the last time Mr. Nikiforov, I am not and was not Yuuri’s lover nor did I ever get into his pants or sleep with him. No matter how downright enticing, as you’ve said, his ass and thighs are. You are free to take my best friend out as long as you comply to my conditions.”

“I’m guessing this is your way of giving me the shovel talk.”

“How smart. Yuuri would surely love you even more.” Phichit kept up his façade. He enjoyed this manner of intimidation.

“Well, I wholeheartedly comply. Yuuri deserves only the best, after all.” Phichit could almost see small hearts taking shape into the man’s eyes. These two are in deep for each other, and it was up to Phichit to make sure their happy ending comes through.

“So it’s settled. You are to take Yuuri out, next week Friday, 7 pm sharp.”

“Alright.” Viktor reached out to shake hands with Phichit.

Phichit had never felt so accomplished as a best friend in his life.

 

* * *

 

 

“Phichit…I don’t want to go.”

Yuuri was already set to go out on his date with Viktor…but Mari had called bringing in depressing news. It looks like the storm had taken more than just a few loose parts of the roof.

“Vicchan is…”

Yuuri started to curl up on himself, sobbing into his arms as he let his grief flood into his system.

“Shh…Yuuri. It’s fine. I’ll tell you what. We’ll cancel tonight’s plans and we’ll eat some take out katsudon here until you feel better. Alright?”

The date can come another time, being there for Yuuri is what matters most.

“Thanks, Phichit.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Viktor…? We have to cancel tonight.”

“What? Why? Did something happen to Yuuri?”

“Well…”

 

To Phichit’s surprise, Viktor arrives an hour later with two bowls of take-out katsudon and a box of donuts.

(Not to mention, a warm hug from Yuuri, himself.)

 

* * *

 

 

A month had passed since Yuuri’s breakdown.

Phichit and Yuuri were about to head off to work. Of course, Phichit would always give his hamsters goodbye pats and kisses before they left for work.

“Paddy, come here baby.”

“Phichit Chulanont. I can’t believe you named your hamster after noodles.”

“Shhh…don’t listen to him, Phad Thai. He doesn’t understand our love.”

(Though, Phichit knew for a fact that Yuuri’s secret Instagram account is katsudone. An account where he freely likes all of Viktor Nikiforov’s pictures.)

Suffice to say, work passed smoothly throughout half of the day. No delays or shouts from the company owner were heard surprisingly all morning. Phichit was thankful for the peaceful quiet he experienced that morning. That is until he had received a call from his sister who had come to visit and take his hamsters to the vet. Unfortunately, one of his hamsters managed to escape, scampering to who knows where in their apartment.

Phichit’s stress levels rose through the roof. His dear hamsters have always been quite a handful but they had never managed to escape their cages without Phichit’s keen eyes following them around in the apartment. Who knows what could’ve happened to Paddy. What if she got stuck behind the washing machine? Or even get grounded by the refrigerator door? The possibilities were endless, and the storm that arrived that afternoon, right before Phichit was to bolt out of the building, served to cement his stress onto his bones.

‘This can’t be happening.’ He wails in his thoughts as he searched for his umbrella. It seems that someone had taken it by mistake. Phichit, in all his maternal protectiveness, curses whoever did, hoping they slip on a puddle.

“Phichit, you can borrow mine if you want.” Yuuri presents his umbrella to Phichit. Eyes soft with concern for his friend. Yuuri knew how much Phichit loved his hamsters, and having lost his own pet, he wouldn’t dream of letting Phichit experience the same thing.

“But Yuuri…” Phichit is reluctant to accept the offer. His best friend had to practice at the studio tonight. He can’t just do that to his friend.

“No, Phichit. It’s all right. I think I can wait it out. Also, I can deal with one day without practice. And besides, Paddy needs you.”

“Yuuri.” Phichit envelopes his friend in a hug, tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

He nods to Yuuri with a thank you before running off under the hard pouring rain.

 

* * *

“…Yuuri?”

Sea blue eyes meet with warm brown.

“What are you still doing here?

* * *

 

 

“Yuuri! I’m sorry it’s been 2 hours. Paddy went inside the vent and we had to get someone to crawl into it. Remember that Russian kid who keeps kicking the doors open? He was small enough to fit right in! I had to pay him a few bucks though…but look Paddy is safe and sound!”

“It’s all right Phichit. I’m glad Paddy is safe in her cage again.”

“Hmm…Yuuri it’s still stormy outside…How are you not wet? Did you take a taxi or something?”

A pinkish hue tainted Yuuri’s cheeks along with the tip of his ears.

“Actually, Mr. Niki- I mean Viktor helped me get back here. He offered me a ride back. He was really kind about it.” A soft smile curved his lips as he spoke fondly about the event.

On the other hand, a knowing smile placed itself on Phichit’s face.

“It’s been 2 hours though, Yuuri. It usually takes us 15 minutes to get back. 2 hours is an awfully _long_ time, Yuuuuuuuri.” Phichit’s teasing grin irked Yuuri.

“Phichit, I know what you’re thinking and it’s---”

“Yuuri…don’t tell me—“

“P-Phichit, it’s not what you think!”

“You rode _something else_ back home too, didn’t you?”

Blood rushed to Yuuri’s face, coloring it a pretty shade of red as soon as he processed Phichit’s words.

In Yuuri language, that means ‘Yeah, we fucked.’

Phichit opens the windows. He cups his hands around his mouth as he shouts outside.

“EVERYONE! MY BEST FRIEND GOT LAID!”

“PHICHIT!!!”

 

 

**Plan Z: They’ll get there on their own**

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Yuuri rode Viktor's disco stick. 
> 
> 8/14/2017 - edited some typos I failed to notice along with some sentences :)
> 
> Some warm up while I start to getting back into writing regularly.  
> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Kudos, comments and constructive criticism are well appreciated~


End file.
